What I Learned from My Failed Marriage

Marriage begins with hope, an ideal, aiming for lifelong joy. But sometimes, divorce emerges as a necessary path to happiness in its own right. In a society where the sanctity of marriage faces the reality of frequent divorces, it’s the exceptional marriages that make headlines. However, divorce has shed much of its stigma, viewed less as a failure and more as a redirection towards a better life.

Today, we’re joined by Sia Cooper. The dynamo behind “Diary of a Fit Mommy” and a personal fitness coach known as the “Bad Mom”, not for neglect but for bucking traditional parenting norms. She’s faced her fair share of criticism online, jokingly saying, “If I got a dollar every time I was called a ‘bad mom,’ I’d be very rich by now!” 

Her million-plus followers know her for incorporating her kids into her workout routine, but today, we delve into her personal life, particularly the marriage that ended and the one that blossomed in its place.

Sia’s marriage to Grady spanned seven years, yet it showed signs of strain with the arrival of their first child. Sia, grappling with her own childhood traumas of abandonment, vowed to prioritize her children above all else. But in doing so, the vibrancy of her marital relationship began to dim. The couple’s intimacy waned, and as they transitioned from partners to co-parents, the chasm between them widened.

The birth of their second child pushed them further apart. Grady’s attempts to express his needs were met with Sia’s exhaustion. Between motherhood and entrepreneurship, her plate was full, and their marriage suffered. The couple eventually recognized that their connection was beyond repair, leading them down the path to divorce.

Divorce, though common, was not a light affair for Sia. It was a journey of introspection and tough realizations. In retrospect, she saw the magnitude of her husband’s absence in her life and how much she had actually relied on him.

In the wake of her divorce, Sia ventured back into the dating scene but was quickly reminded of her regrets. Candidly, she shared her learnings in a blog post titled “What I Learned From My Failed Marriage”, offering advice on maintaining a marriage, advice that stemmed from the hard lessons of her own failed relationship. From keeping the spark alive in intimacy to placing your partner on a pedestal even above your children, Sia laid bare her soul and her mistakes.

  1. Have lots of sex, put your spouse first
  2. Never stop dating each other
  3. Realising the grass is not greener on the other side
  4. Put your spouse first.
  5. Just fucking say goodnight each night even if you do not wanna
  6. Simply keep TRYING

These tips might not be the golden rules for a happy marriage, but they were reminders for Sia and advice she hoped would help others struggling or considering saving their marriage. She feared her guilt from her failed marriage might haunt her for life, but she ended her post wishing her ex-husband happiness with someone who cherished him in ways she never could.

But there’s more to Sia’s story.

Fast forward to four years post-divorce, Sia remarried. Her second wedding was a moment of vindication, a tearful realization that her journey had brought her to a better match for her heart. Her experiences had shaped her, and she approached her new relationship equipped with the wisdom of her past. Her story is testament to the belief that every end has a new beginning, and that the tough choices we make in pursuit of personal truth lead to our ultimate happiness.

When asked how she found love again, she applied the “marriage tips” she’d written years before to her new relationship and believed everyone moves on to find something just as beautiful because everything happens for a reason. Does she have regrets? No, because she’s always made choices true to herself.

That’s Sia’s story so far. But it’s important to note that her journey isn’t just about luck or misfortune. While fate might be beyond our control, choices aren’t. Her story is a chronicle of personal growth, of making informed choices, and the conviction that sometimes, the end is just the start of something greater.

Photo source: diaryofafitmommyofficial@IG、diaryofafitmommy.com、Cambridge News

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